The Best Thing About A

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.

It's Best To Give Advice In Only Two Circumstances; When It's Requested, And When It's A Life Threatening Situation.

The World Must Be Filled With Unsuccessful Musical Careers Like Mine, And It's Probably A Good Thing. We Don't Need A Lot Of Bad Musicians Filling The Air With Unnecessary Sounds. Some Of The Professionals Are Bad Enough.

One Of The Things We Can Be Sure Of Over The July 4th Weekend Is That News Reports Will Keep Telling Us How Many Of Us Are Going To Die In Automobile Accidents.

There Are Only A Few Safe Targets Left, Just A Few Groups Of People You Can Say Anything Negative About Without Getting In Trouble For It. I've Made A List Of Safe Targets And I Probably Ought To Stick To Those. Politicians, For Instance. You Can Say Anything You Want About Them, And It Doesn't Matter How Unfair You Are. People Seem To Like It.