The Best Comedy, I Feel,

I Did 15 Shows A Week When I Lived In New York. I Did Five Shows On A Friday And Seven Shows On A Saturday. It Was Everything I Did And It Was My Sole Source Of Income.

I Would Get My Student Loans, Get Money, Register And Never Really Go. It Was A System I Thought Would Somehow Pan Out.

My Daughter's Tricycle Said "some Assembly Required." It Came In A Jar.

When You Wake Up One Day And Say, "you Know What? I Don't Think I Ever Need To Sleep Or Have Sex Again." Congratulations, You're Ready (to Have Children).

You Don't Want To Shock Them And Do Something Totally Opposite, But You Also Want To Play A Different Character.