The Appetizer Is Just An

I Don't Know About You, But When They First Introduced Bottled Water, I Thought It Was So Funny, I Was Like "bottled Water! Haha, They're Selling Bottled Water! ... I Guess I'll Try It. Ah, This Is Good, This Is More Watery Than Water. Yeah, This Has Got A Water Kick To It."

I Am Originally From Indiana. I Know What Most Of You Are Thinking: Indiana - Mafia.

You Can Never Look That Tough In Glasses. ... You Never See Somebody Push Up Their Glasses And Say, "i'm Gonna Kick Your Ass."

There Should Be A Children's Song: 'if You're Happy And You Know It, Keep It To Yourself And Let Your Dad Sleep'.

There Was [ In New York] - Some Of It Was This Perception Of The Midwest That I Realized In This Multicultural City That - And I Don't Think It's As True As It Was - But Everyone Was Kind Of Like, What, Are You Jewish? Are You Italian? What Are You? You Know, Are You Black? Are You Da-da-da? Are You Puerto Rican? And So I Ended Up - My Ethnic Identity Was Midwestern, Was White Bread. And So It Informed A Lot Of My Stand-up.