Thank You, Horseradish, For Being

Regis Philbin's Back In Primetime, Hosting 11 New Episodes Of 'who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' But Because Of Obama's Tax Plan, It's Been Re-titled 'who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.'

A New Study Found That Most People Can't Go 10 Minutes Without Lying. But Since The Study Took 20 Minutes Nobody Knows What To Believe.

I Remember Watching Soulja Boy On Youtube Over And Over Again To Prepare For It. For The First One, I Was Up All Night In My Kitchen, Practicing The Dance, Because I Knew I Had To Dance With Timberlake And That Guy Can Dance.

Today Carly Fiorina Announced That She Is Running For President. Someone Else Bought 'carlyfiorina.org' And Posted 30,000 Sad Emoticons To Represent All The People She Laid Off At Hewlett-packard. I Haven't Seen That Many Sad, Blank Faces In One Place Since The Mayweather-pacquiao Fight.

After Michael Jordan Recently Criticized President Obama's Golf Game, Obama Responded By Saying That Jordan Should Spend More Time Thinking About His Basketball Team, The Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan Said, 'do You Really Want To Talk About Whose Team Got Crushed This Week?'