Telling Lies Is A Bit

Telling Lies Is A Bit Like Tiling Bathrooms - If You Don't Know How To Do It Properly, It's Best Not To Try.

Descartes' Immortal Conclusion Cogito Ergo Sum Was Recently Subjected To Destruction Testing By A Group Of Graduate Researchers At Princeton Led By Professors Montjuic And Lauterbrunnen, And Now Reads, In The Shorter Harvard Orthodoxy: (a) I Think, Therefore I Am; Or (b) Perhaps I Thought, Therefore I Was; But (c) These Days, I Tend To Leave That Side Of Things To My Wife.

Genies Rarely Have Nightmares, For The Same Reason That Elephants Don't Usually Worry About Being Trampled Underfoot. With The Possible Exception Of Bottles, There's Nothing In The Cosmos Large Enough Or Malicious Enough To Frighten Them, Or Stupid Enough To Try.

It Was Irritating To Have One's Physical Shortcomings Pointed Out Quite So Plainly Twice In One Evening, Once By A Beautiful Girl And Once By A Dying Badger.

The Best Definition Of An Immortal Is Someone Who Hasn't Died Yet.