Steve Jobs Was A Pretty

Opportunity Looks A Lot Like Work...

I Think The Reward For Doing Comedy Is Doing The Comedy Itself. You Get To Go To Work Everyday And Laugh And Make Other People Laugh And To Me There's No Greater Reward Than That.

I'm Not A Follower Of This Or That Religious Leader. More Wars Are Started Because Of Religious Leaders, And People Are Following And They Don't Know Why... That Is Religiosity. That Is What Turns People Into Robots.

I Gave Up Smoking, I Never Gave Up The Drinking. But It's Hard To Smoke And Swim At The Same Time. You'd Get To The Edge Of The Pool And All You'd Be Wanting Is A Cigarette When All You Actually Really Want Is Oxygen. So I Traded The Smoke For The Oxygen.

I Feel Like A Fraud... My Name Is Not Even Actually Ashton. Ashton Is My Middle Name.