Stand-up Comedy Is An Art

You Gotta Keep Falling In Love. You Gotta Believe In It. What Are You Going To Do... Give Sheep The Vote?

What Am I Responsible For? Who Am I Responsible To? Everybody? How Come When Archie Bunker Nailed Everybody, It Was Funny - But When I Do It, It's Not?

John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.

Real Comedy Doesn't Just Make People Laugh And Think, But Makes Them Laugh And Change.

I Look For Women I Know Are Gonna Bust Me Up Good. Come On, Man, Who Can Resist That? Who Can Resist That Emotional Pain? Yeah, They All Have The Same Line, They're So Sweet: I'm Not Gonna Hurt You Like All The Others. Really I'm Not. I'm Gonna Introduce You To A Whole New Level Of Pain!