Real Comedy Doesn't Just Make

Jesus Had A Tough Life. I Read About That Guy. Jesus Is The Only Guy That Ever Came Back From The Dead That Didn't Scare The F- Out Of Everybody!

I Don't Deny My Life-style Is Occasionally Pretty Wild.

Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.

The Russians Haven't Been To The Moon. You Know Why? Because They're Space Pussies... You Really Want To Impress Us? Bring Us Back Our Flag!

I'm Responsible. I Even Did A Commercial For Mtv Saying How I Was Going To Register To Vote. And I Still Haven't.