So I'm At The Wailing

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

I Once Had A Large Gay Following, But I Ducked Into An Alleyway And Lost Him.

Everyone, Everywhere, And All The Time, Used To Laugh At Me When I Was Growing Up. So, When I Was Around 18, I Thought, 'i'll Become A Comedian, And Then If Everyone Laughs At Me, I'll Be Famous.' So I Went On Stage One Night And, For The First Time In My Life, Everyone Stopped Laughing At Me.

It's Amazing Where A Joke Might Come From. I Find A Lot Of Humour Just By Metaphorically Turning Things Upside Down Or Literally Like My Wife's Cat.

I'm Totally Normal In Every Respect, But I Have This One Quirk - I Can't Give Out A Number Without Laughing. It's A Problem When I'm Giving My Credit Card Number Over The Phone Because They Always Think: 'he Must Have Just Stolen It.'