I Once Had A Large

In Our School You Were Searched For Guns And Knifes On The Way In And If You Didn't Have Any, They Gave You Some.

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.