Scotland Should Be Nothing Less

More Than Anything Else, I'd Like To Be An Old Man With A Good Face, Like Hitchcock Or Picasso.

I Admit I'm Being Paid Well, But It's No More Than I Deserve. After All, I've Been Screwed More Times Than A Hooker.

My View Is That To Get Anywhere In Life You Have To Be Anti-social, Otherwise You'll End Up Being Devoured. I've Never Been Particularly Social, Anyway, But If I've Ever Been Rude, Fifty Per Cent Of It Has Usually Been Provoked By Other People's Attitudes. Though I Do Admit, Like Most Celts, I'm Moody. It's Fine Until People Try To Cheer You Up With Gems Like, 'snap Out Of It' Or 'come On, Now'.

Red Wine With Fish. That Should Have Told Me Something.

I Met My Wife Through Playing Golf. She Is French And Couldn't Speak English And I Couldn't Speak French, So There Was Little Chance Of Us Getting Involved In Any Boring Conversations - That's Why We Got Married Really Quickly.