Sandler's Always Good. Tom Hanks

A Massive Power Outage In Washington, D.c., Today Affected A Number Of Federal Buildings, Including The White House. When Asked When They Could Restore Power To The White House, Officials Said, '2016?'

Even The White House Is Weighing In On The Deflate-gate Scandal. Yesterday They Encouraged Tom Brady To 'be Mindful Of The Way He Serves As A Role Model.' And Then President Obama Stuffed Out His Cigarette And Went Golfing At Noon On A Weekday.

Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'

Many Believe That Hillary Clinton Was Channeling President Obama During Her Recent Speech In New York City. She Focused On Equality, Justice, And How Hard It Was For Her Growing Up As A Young Black Man In Hawaii.

Mike Huckabee Said He's The Only Person Who Has Fought The Clinton Political Machine And Won. As Opposed To Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders, Who's The Only Person Who Fought A Fax Machine And Lost.