Probably The Toughest Time In

Everyone, Everywhere, And All The Time, Used To Laugh At Me When I Was Growing Up. So, When I Was Around 18, I Thought, 'i'll Become A Comedian, And Then If Everyone Laughs At Me, I'll Be Famous.' So I Went On Stage One Night And, For The First Time In My Life, Everyone Stopped Laughing At Me.

I Was Sleeping The Other Night, Alone, Thanks To The Exterminator.

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.