President James Garfield Could Write

Thanksgiving Began In 1621 When Native Americans Sat Down With A Bunch Of Undocumented Pilgrims. They Had Dinner And The Pilgrims Never Left.

A New Poll Shows That Americans Now Believe That Bill Clinton Is More Honest Than President Bush. At Least When Clinton Screwed The Nation, He Did It One Person At A Time.

President Obama Has Begun A Three-state Bus Tour. I Believe The Three States Are: Confusion, Delusion, And Desperation.

Michael Jackson Has A New Baby Boy; No Word Yet Who The Father Is.

Barack Obama Said Yesterday That The Economy Was 'going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better.' See, That's When You Know The Campaign Is Really Over. Remember Before The Election? 'the Audacity Of Hope!' 'yes, We Can!' 'a Change We Can Believe In!' Now It's, 'we're All Screwed.'