President Bush Called Arnold To

If There Isn't A Parking Space Out Front Or I Can't See My Car From The Window, We're Eating Somewhere Else.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

At&t Is Now Offering A New Service That Allows You To Pay Your Bills Through Your Tv Screen By Using Your Remote Control. So Instead Of Saying, "the Check's In The Mail," People Are Going To Say, "hey, I Wanted To Pay, But I Couldn't Find The Remote."

There Was Also Talk Of Bringing Al Gore To California To Help Out, But There Was Concern That Gray Davis And Al Gore In The Same State Would Cause Some Kind Of Rolling Personality Blackout.

You Know What They Say When A Supermodel Gets Pregnant? Now She's Eating For One.