The New England Journal Of

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Raised Security Alert To A Code Red. Apparently Howard Dean Has Escaped. Did You See Dean's Crazed Speech The Other Night, Yelling? I See Why His Wife Won't Campaign With Him. In Fact, Dean Has A New Slogan: 'aaghhhh.'

I Flew This Past Weekend. I Went Through Airport Security And Said To The Guy, 'is Everything Okay?' He Said, 'you Might Want To Have That Mole On Your Ass Checked Out.' That Seems A Little Personal To Me.

Chris Christie Won By Such A Wide Margin That Pundits Say This Will Give Him The Impetus He Needs To Run For President. And He's Got A New Slogan: 'put The Oval In The Oval Office.'

The Big Rumor Going Around Is, We May Begin Bombing Iraq. Or, As The White House Calls It, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page.

Folks, We're Starting To Learn More And More About That Man Arrested In The New York Suv Car Bombing Case. His Name Is Faisal Shahzad. He's From Pakistan. What Tipped Off The Authorities He Might Be The Bomber? His Name Is Faisal Shahzad. He's From Pakistan.