People Ask What I Am

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

I Always Wanted To Get Into Politics, But I Was Never Light Enough To Make The Team.

If President Nixon's Secretary, Rosemary Woods, Had Been Moses' Secretary, There Would Only Be Eight Commandments.

The Best Way To Clean Up A Son's Room Is To Close The Door And Pretend It's Not Part Of The House.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.