People Ask What I Am

And Man Created The Plastic Bag And The Tin And Aluminum Can And The Cellophane Wrapper And The Paper Plate, And This Was Good Because Man Could Then Take His Automobile And Buy All His Food In One Place And He Could Save That Which Was Good To Eat In The Refrigerator And Throw Away That Which Had No Further Use. And Soon The Earth Was Covered With Plastic Bags And Aluminum Cans And Paper Plates And Disposable Bottles And There Was Nowhere To Sit Down Or Walk, And Man Shook His Head And Cried: "look At This Godawful Mess.

When I Got To The Hospice I Was Under The Impression It Would Be A Two- Or Three-week Stay. But Here I Still Am, Six Weeks Later, And I've Gotten So Well Medicare Won't Pay For Me Anymore.

War For Most Men Is Not Fighting Or Marching In Parades. It Is Sitting Around Somewhere Wondering What The Hell You Are Supposed To Be Doing.

I Always Wanted To Get Into Politics, But I Was Never Light Enough To Make The Team.

When It Came To Writing About Wine, I Did What Almost Everybody Does - Faked It