People Always Ask Me, 'where

I'm Very Religious, You Know. Now, Ok, If By 'religious', You Mean That I Go To Church Every Sunday, Read The Bible Faithfully, And I Listen To Debbie Boone, Umm, I'm Not Religious In That Sense... But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Love Others And Try To Help Them Whenever Possible... Again, No. But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Like To Eat Coleslaw... Yeah, Ok, Ok!

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

I'm Totally Normal In Every Respect, But I Have This One Quirk - I Can't Give Out A Number Without Laughing. It's A Problem When I'm Giving My Credit Card Number Over The Phone Because They Always Think: 'he Must Have Just Stolen It.'

The Way I Understand It, The Russians Are Sort Of A Combination Of Evil And Incompetence... Sort Of Like The Post Office With Tanks.

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!