Paris Hilton Got 45 Days

Disneyland Celebrated Its 40th Anniversary By Burying A Time Capsule. They Say It Will Be Dug Up In 50 Years - Or When The Last Person In Line At Space Mountain Gets To The Front, Whichever Comes First.

There Are Now Reports That President Obama Will Name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry To Be The Next Secretary Of Defense. Apparently This Is Part Of America's New Defense Strategy To Bore Our Enemies To Death.

Barack Obama Spent His First Day As President-elect Putting Together His Transition Team. And If You Believe Msnbc, By Tomorrow He Will Have Chosen All 12 Of His Disciples.

President Obama Will Be Going To Disney World Where He'll Unveil His New Plan To Create Jobs. And What Better Place For The President To Talk About His Jobs Plan Than Fantasyland?

Some Sad News, President Bush's Lapdog Passed Away. Gee, I Didn't Even Know Tony Blair Was Sick?