Disneyland Celebrated Its 40th Anniversary

You Know What's Sad About This? Not The Gambling, But The Best Way To Reach College Athletes Is The Cartoon Network.

Political Analysts Say That President Bush's Re-election Strategy Is To Try And Convince Americans That He's A War President. I Don't Get That, Do You Think That'll Work? I Mean, Don't You Think That If He Tries To Convince The American People That We Need A War President, Isn't He Afraid That They're Going To Vote For The Guy That Was Actually In A War?

Know What The Taliban Leaders Like To Do For Fun? Just Sit Around And Get Bombed.

According To The New York Times, The Mob Has Now Gotten Into Medicare Fraud. But The Good News Is, When They Do Break Your Legs There's A Good Chance You're Covered.

The Republicans Finally Got Some Good News Over The Weekend. The North Koreans Set Off A Nuclear Bomb. Thank God. It Was So Powerful It Knocked The Mark Foley Story Right Off The Front Page. And Knocked Him Off The Page He Was On, Too.