P.s. - This Is What

You Know When A Company Wants To Use Letters In Their Phone Number, But Often They'll Use Too Many Letters? "call 1-800-i-really-enjoy-brand-new-carpeting." Too Many Letters, Man, Must I Dial Them All? "hello? Hold On, Man, I'm Only On 'enjoy.' How Did You Know I Was Calling? You're Good, I Can See Why They Hired You!"

Alcoholism Is The Only Disease That You Can Get Yelled At For Having.

I Rented A Car. I Didn't Really Need One, I Just Wanted To Make One Less Available. I Wanted One Businessman On The Bus With No Car.

Mitch's Pizzaria... This Week's Coupon: Unlimited Free Pizza. Special Note: Coupon Not Good At Any Of The Mitch's Pizza Locations. Free Pizza Oven With Purchase Of A Small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: Buy One Pizza, Get One Franchise Free.

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.