Once, The Parental Bed Collapsed

Once, The Parental Bed Collapsed Because All The Children Sat On It At Once.

My Father Said, If You Want To Do Acting, You Have To Be Successful, Which Is A Silly Thing To Say.

My Mother Felt It Was Time That I Had Some Parental Control, So I Went Off To America And Went To New York.

At Boarding School You Had To Wear Your Name Across Your Chest And Your Back, And Obviously I Had A Pretty Funny Name. It Wasn't Brown Or Smith Or Hughes.

The Most Surprising Thing For My Mother And Father Was When I Was Actually Earning More Money Than Them By The Time I Was About 18. They Thought I Was Going To Be The Ne'er Do Well, Who They'd Have To Keep Worrying About.