On Her Daughter Melissa: The

There Is Nothing Funny About Aging: It Is Rotten And Depressing. Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise Just Hasn't Been Paying Attention.

My Perfect Last Meal Would Be: Shrimp Cocktail, Lasagna, Steak, Creamed Spinach, Salad With Bleu Cheese Dressing, Onion Rings, Garlic Bread, And A Dessert Of Strawberry Shortcake.

I Finally Found Out How Priests Get Holy Water. They Boil The Hell Out Of It.

Never Buy A Fur From A Vegetarian.

I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off.