Nothing Makes A Man Feel

The Surest Way To Make A Monkey Of A Man Is To Quote Him.

Consider The Number Of Young People All Over The World Who Are Getting Married, Day In And Day Out, For No Other Reason Than Thatsomeone Of The Opposite Sex Looks Well In A Green Jersey Or Sings Baritone, And Then Tell Me That Divorce Has Reached Menacing Proportions. The Surface Of Divorce Has Not Even Been Scratched Yet.

Next To An Old-fashioned Church Social, Or Possibly A Monster Bridge Party, There Is No Buzz Which Can Equal The Sibilant Buzz Ofa Matinée.

It Must Be A Source Of Great Chagrin To Those In Charge To Think Of So Many People Being Able To Stick A Stamp On A Letter And Drop It In A Mail Box Without Any Trouble Or Suffering At All. They Are Probably Working On A System This Very Minute, Trying To Devise Some Way In Which The Public Can Be Made To Fill Out A Blank, Stand In Line, Consult Some Underling Who Will Refer Him To A Superior, And Then Be Made To Black Up With Burned Cork Before They Can Mail A Letter.

There Are Several Natural Phenomena Which I Shall Have To Have Explained To Me Before I Can Keep On Going As A Resident Member Ofthe Human Race. One Is The Metamorphosis Which Hats And Suits Undergo Exactly One Week After Their Purchase, Whereby They Are Changed From Smart, Intensely Becoming Articles Of Apparel Into Something Children Use When They Want To "dress Up Like Daddy.