Nothing Makes A Man Feel

If Only Those Old Walls Could Talk...how Boring They Would Be.

I Have Often Wondered How They Manage To Get Return Envelopes Which Miss, By One-quarter Of An Inch, Fitting The Blank You Are Supposed To Return. They Say, "please Fill Out And Return The Enclosed Envelope," And The Enclosed Envelope Is Always One-quarter Of An Inch Too Small.

Why Don't You Get Out Of That Wet Coat And Into A Dry Martini?

I Am Both A Public And A Private School Boy Myself, Having Always Changed Schools Just As The Class In English In The New School Was Taking Up Silas Marner, With The Result That It Was The Only Book In The English Language That I Knew Until I Was Eighteen--but, Boy, Did I Know Silas Marner!

Charlemagne Either Died Or Was Born Or Did Something With The Holy Roman Empire In 800.