No One Knows Why, But

...then He Looked At My T-shirt And Saw Byron's Picture On It And He Quoted "she Walks In Beauty," Which Is Like My Favorite Poem Next To The One By Baudelaire About His Girlfriend Being Nothing But Worm Food, Except That Lily Called That One First Because Baudelaire Is Her Fave Poet And So She Got The Shirt With Him On It, Even Though Byron Is Way More Scrumptious And I Would Do Him On Sharp Gravel If I Had The Chance. --from The Chronicles Of Abby Normal

... But To Remain Historically Accurate, I Would Have Had To Leave Out An Important Question That I Felt Needed To Be Addressed, Which Is, 'what If Jesus Had Known Kung Fu?

Not Unlike The Toaster, I Control Darkness.

Next Out Of The Hall Came The Sisters And Their Husbands. Before I Could Say Anything, The Captain Had Clamped His Hand Over My Mouth And Was Lifting Me Off My Feet As I Kicked. Cornwall Made As To Draw His Dagger, But Regan Pulled Him Away. "you've Just Won A Kingdom, My Duke, Killing Vermin Is A Servant's Task. Leave The Bitter Fool Stew In His Own Bile." She Wanted Me. It Was Clear.

Oh, I Get It," I Said. "it's A Parable. Cute. Let's Go Eat.