No Matter What I Have

A Friend Of Mine Is Trying To Do A Documentary Where He Brings Jewish And Arab Comedians To Occupied Territories In Israel. He Wants To Do Shows As A Way Of Finding Some Comedic Common Denominator. When He Proposed The Idea To One Of The Officials At The Jenin Refuge Camp, The Guy Just Stared At Him And Said, "this Is Not A Joke To Us. We Don't Think That Laughing Is The Answer."

I'm A Writer-director-actor, Which I've Always Kind Of Enjoyed. I Compared It To The Olympic Biathlon. "not Only Can He Cross-country Ski, But He's A Terrific Marksman As Well." I Want People To Say, "you Mean That Writer Performed A Tracheotomy?" That's Right, I Do Everything.

I Never Read Playboy Before I Started Working There And Stopped Reading It The Day I Quit.

You Can't Not Have Feelings About Country Clubs, Whichever Side You're On.

When Someone's An Actor And You're An Actor, You Meet Them And You Feel Like You Know Them. We're In The Same Business, And We All Speak The Same Comedy Language.