No Human On God's Earth

There Are Some Things I Don't Understand About Jess And Never Will. No Wedding Dress. No Flowers. No Photo Album. No Champagne. The Only Thing She Got Out Of Her Wedding Was A Husband. (i Mean, Obviously The Husband Is The Main Point When You Get Married. Absolutely. That Goes Without Saying. But Still, Not Even A New Pair Of Shoes?)

The Worst Thing A Girl Can Do Is Trail After A Boy When A Love Affair Is Dead.

I've Never Written A Children's Book, But When People Meet Me For The First Time And I Say I Write Books, They Invariably Reply, 'children's Books?' Maybe It's Something About My Face.

When I'm On A Break From Writing, I'll Log On To Amazon And Ebay. The Doorbell Is Constantly Being Rung By Deliverymen.

For Years Now I've Kind Of Operated Under An Informal Shopping Cycle. A Bit Like A Farmer's Crop Rotation System. Except, Instead Of Wheat, Maize, Barley, And Fallow, Mine Pretty Much Goes Clothes, Makeup Shoes, And Clothes (i Don't Bother With Fallow). Shopping Is Actually Very Similar To Farming A Field. You Can't Keep Buying The Same Thing, You Have To Have A Bit Of Variety. Otherwise You Get Bored And Stop Enjoying Yourself.