Next To Hot Chicken Soup,

The Only Reason I Would Take Up Jogging Is So That I Could Hear Heavy Breathing Again.

When Humor Goes, There Goes Civilization.

Authorities Say Brain Cells May Shrink, But They Don't Necessarily Die. Frankly, I Am Cheered By The Fact That Something Is Shrinking. I'd Be Even More Thrilled If What Was Shrinking Affected My Dress Size, But You Can't Have Everything.

She's As Funny As A Toothache

Mother's Words Of Wisdom: Answer Me! Don't Talk With Food In Your Mouth!