New Ideas Are One Of

I Dislike Loud-mouthed Patriots Who Suggest They Like Our Country More Than I Do. Some People's Idea Of Patriotism Is Hating Other Countries.

Dogs Are Nicer Than People.

I Don't Pick Subjects As Much As They Pick Me.

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!