Never Tell A Crazy Person

I Would Not Trade Any Of These Features For Anybody Else’s. I Wouldn’t Trade The Small Thin-lipped Mouth That Makes Me Resemble My Nephew. I Wouldn’t Even Trade The Acne Scar On My Right Cheek, Because That Recurring Zit Spent More Time With Me In College Than Any Boy Ever Did.

It Has Been Said That To Write Is To Live Forever. The Man Who Said That Is Dead.

...nothing Is Creepier Than A Bunch Of Adults Being Very Quiet.

Every Kid Has Something They're Good At, That You Hope They Find And Gravitate Toward.

I Want Every Day To Be The Most Boring News Day Ever. I Want Every Day To Be About Spelling Bee Champions And Baby Basketball. It's Better To Have No Comedy Material Than A Horrific News Day.