Never Take Candy From Strangers.

Don't Try To Teach Men How To Do Anything In Public. They Can Learn In Private; In Public They Have To Know.

I'm Not Sure If My Husband Is Going To Be There When I Actually Have The Baby. He Said The Only Way He's Going To Be In The Room When There's A Delivery Is If There's A Pizza Involved.

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

When You're A Dancer, You Start With The Basics. You Don't All Of A Sudden Do A Grand Jete And Pirouette. You Start With First Position, Second, Third.

I Hate Learning Through Experience. Just Once I'd Like To Learn Something Because Someone Was Nice Enough To Tell Me In Advance.