My Stand-up Is Quite Good

He [charlie Chaplin] Was Always Playing As If It Were To The Camera, If You've Seen The Live Shots Of Him When He's Going To An Opening Night Or Something Like That. And The Skills That He Had Were Beyond My Ability To Throw Together. You Just Couldn't Really Compete With Him. He Was Too Athletic At That.

If I Were Achilles I Would Put My Foot In A F**k Off Block Of Concrete!

The Death Star Is Just Full Of British Actors Opening Doors And Going,oh... I... Oh... What Is It Lieutenant Sebastian? It's Just The Rebels, Sir... They're Here. My God, Man! Do They Want Tea? No, I Think They're After Something A Bit More Than That, Sir. I Don't Know What It Is, But They've Brought A Flag. Damn, That's Dash Cunning Of Them.

If You Get Too Well-known, You Can Never Be A Comedian's Comedian, It Just Won't Sit Well. But I'm Fine With That. I'm Fine With That Label.

If There Were A God, Don't You Think He Would Have Flicked Hitler's Head Off?