My Second Favorite Household Chore

When My Kids Become Wild And Unruly, I Use A Nice, Safe Playpen. When They're Finished, I Climb Out.

I've Exercised With Women So Thin That Buzzards Followed Them To Their Cars.

I Just Clipped 2 Articles From A Current Magazine. One Is A Diet Guaranteed To Drop 5 Pounds Off My Body In A Weekend. The Other Is A Recipe For A 6 Minute Pecan Pie.

To Say, "well, I Write When I Really Get Into It" Is A Bunch Of Bull. Put The Paper In The Typewriter, Stare At It A Long Time, Get Snowblindness If You Have To, But Write Something.

I Will Never Understand Children. I Never Pretended To. I Meet Mothers All The Time Who Make Resolutions To Themselves. 'i'm Going To ... Go Out Of My Way To Show Them I Am Interested In Them And What They Do. I Am Going To Understand My Children.' These Women End Up Making Rag Rugs, Using Blunt Scissors.