My Parents Had Very Strict

I Went Into The Gas Station, Said, Fill 'er Up, Harry. The Guy Said, Regular? I Said, No, Put On A Gorrila Suit And Dance Like A Fairy.

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.

Anger Punishes The Bearer's Heart. Who Remains Angry Suffers Most. For Many, The Search For Perfection Virtually Guarantees It Will Be Found, And Disregarded In Order To Continue The Search. Some Mornings It Just Doesn't Seem Worth It To Gnaw Through The Leather Straps.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

I'm Totally Normal In Every Respect, But I Have This One Quirk - I Can't Give Out A Number Without Laughing. It's A Problem When I'm Giving My Credit Card Number Over The Phone Because They Always Think: 'he Must Have Just Stolen It.'