My Husband Is So Cheap.

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.

The Last Thing I'd Learn, Well Into My Career, Was How To Get On, How To Say Hello, How To Get In With The Audience.

My Mother Hated Me. Once She Took Me To An Orphanage And Told Me To Mingle

Everybody Knows How Lazy He Is. One Day The Neighbors Saw Fang Mow The Lawn And I Got Three Get Well Cards.

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.