My Heart Is A Bargain

Horse Sense Is The Thing A Horse Has Which Keeps It From Betting On People.

I Note The Derogatory Rumors Concerning The Use Of Alcoholic Stimulants And Lavish Living. It Is The Penalty Of Greatness.

I Have Been Advised By The Best Medical Authority, At My Age, Not To Attempt To Give Up Alcohol.

You Can't Trust Water: Even A Straight Stick Turns Crooked In It.

Just Like My Uncle Charlie Used To Say, Just Before He Sprung The Trap: He Said, "you Can't Cheat And Honest Man! Never Give A Sucker An Even Break Or Smarten Up A Chump!