My Day Jobs... I Knew

Capital Punishment, That Thing Scares Me, It Really Does. I Was Talking To My Friend About The Electric Chair, And He Starts Freakin' Out. He's Like 'the Electric Chair? That's Too Good For These People. That's Too Good For Them'. Alright, How Do We Make The Electric Chair Worse? How About This? They Have To Pedal A Car Battery To Their Own Head. Is That Ok? Is That Enough, Mr. Hitler?

I Wanna Get A Little Drunk, But I Also Want Some Pancakes.

You Gotta Make Your Own Fun. That's Right, Listen To That Mother Of Two, She Knows What I'm Talking About.

Here's A Tip: Never Get Drunk While Wearing A Hooded Sweatshirt. You Will Eventually Think There's Someone Right Behind You.

Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.