My Dad Told Me If

I Never Went To Camp As A Kid. I Couldn't Get Into An Ivy League School. I Wouldn't Join A Biker Club.

I Love My Mom! You Can Too For $12!

My Mom Told Me She Thinks A Man In The Market Felt Her Up Today. I Asked, Where Did He Touch You? She Said, On My Knee, Bobby.

Yet There Are Some People - Steve Allen Would Dissect Comedy Forever; He's A Really Funny Guy, But He Would Love Talking About Comedy. I'm Doing It Right Now And You All Seem Bored.

I Like To Approach Every Day Like It's My First, So This Morning When I Woke Up I Covered My Body With Red Gelatin.