My Character, Rick Spleen, Is

People Who Are Pro Smacking Children Say, 'it's The Only Language They Understand.' You Could Apply That To Tourists.

I Took Religion Much Too Seriously, However, And Its Overall Effect Was Depressing. I Would Have Really Liked To Discard It, But Somehow I Couldn't.

I Don't Like Men Who Blow-dry Their Hair. If You Are A Man And You Blow-dry Your Hair, Then I Don't Like You And That's All There Is To It.

In Many Ways, Not Fitting In Has Been A Comedic Asset And A Comedic Resource.

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.