My Body Is A Temple,

The First Time I See A Jogger Smiling, I'll Consider It.

[on Plastic Surgery:] My Motto Is: 'anything That Can Be Lifted Should Be Lifted. Anything That Falls Should Be Caught. And Try To Catch Any Falling Stuff Before It Hits The Ground.

What Are People Going To Do? Fire Me? I've Been Fired Before. Not Book Me? I've Been Out Of Work Before. I Don't Care.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

Both Of My Parents Got To See Me Host Carson, Thank God. That's All Anyone Wants: To Have Their Parents See They're Going To Be All Right In Life.