Comedy Is A Very Rough

Just Remember: Surviving Is The Best Revenge, No Matter What The Disaster Has Been.

And Since We're All Adults Here, Let's Be Brutally Honest-most Babies Are Not Actually Attractive. In Fact, They're Weird And Freakish Looking. A Large Percentage Of Them Are Squinty-eyed And Bald And Their Faces Are All Mushed Toegther, Kind Of Like Renee Zellweger Pushed Up Against A Glass Window.

It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.

Life Is So Tough. I Don't Know How Old You Are, But I've Seen So Much In A Wink. One Phone Call And Your Life Is Changed Forever. We All Know That. You Better Laugh At Everything.

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'