Men Only Go For Skinny

I've Been Married To My Wife For 60 Years But It Feels Just Like Yesterday, And You Know What A Bloody Awful Day Yesterday Was.

There Was An Irish Space Program To Go To The Sun. They Went At Night So They Didn't Get Burnt.

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."

I'm Not Really A Homosexual. I Just Help Them Out When They're Busy.