Long John Silver's Wife, Short,

Saint Christopher, Who Said, Where Can I Get A Frank Sinatra Medal? Never Got A Dinner!

Orson Welles, Who Said To Anita Bryant, Stop Picketing Me. What I Said Was I Was A Thespian. Never Got A Dinner!

Joseph Cotten, Who Said, You Know How I Got My Name? Sammy Davis Picked It For Me. Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

If I Lose Show Business - I'll Really Be An Orphan!