Live By Publicity, You'll Probably

We Honor Ambition, We Reward Greed, We Celebrate Materialism, We Worship Acquisitiveness, We Commercialize Art, We Cherish Success And Then We Bark At The Young About The Gentle Arts Of The Spirit. The Kids Know That If We Really Valued Learning, We Would Pay Our Teachers What We Pay Our Lawyers And Stockbrokers. If We Valued Art, We Would Not Measure It By Its Capacity To Produce Profits. If We Regarded Literature As Important, We Would Remove It From The Celebrity Sweepstakes And Spend A Little Money On Our Libraries.

Now Scarcely A Week Goes By Without A News Story About The Cops Swooping Down On Some Adolescent Prowler Who Is As Skilled At Breaking Into Computer Systems As Defense Contractors Are At Breaking Into The Federal Budget.

It Was Dramatic To Watch My Grandmother Decapitate A Turkey With An Ax The Day Before Thanksgiving. Nowadays The Expense Of Hiring Grandmothers For The Ax Work Would Probably Qualify All Turkeys So Honored With Gourmet Status.

Happiness Is A Small And Unworthy Goal For Something As Big And Fancy As A Whole Lifetime, And Should Be Taken In Small Doses.

Though Americans Talk A Good Deal About The Virtue Of Being Serious, They Generally Prefer People Who Are Solemn Over People Who Are Serious. In Politics, The Rare Candidate Who Is Serious, Like Adlai Stevenson, Is Easily Overwhelmed By One Who Is Solemn, Like General Eisenhower. This Is Probably Because It Is Hard For Most People To Recognize Seriousness, Which Is Rare, Especially In Politics, But Comfortable To Endorse Solemnity, Which Is As Commonplace As Jogging.