Life Is Tough, And If

I Usually Have Sex To My Stand-up Comedy Album. Power Move.

It's Very Rare That An Older Comedian Sort Of Slips Into An Old-school Clunker. You Know, You Don't Hear Too Much Of That Anymore.

My Best Friend Is Disabled. There's Nothing He Hates More Than Being Left Out Of The Jokes, To Be Treated With Kid Gloves. That's The Insult.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

It Really Bothers Me When Some People Say That All Cops Are Racist. Of Course That's Not True. Most Of You Are Just [expletive] To Everybody.