Life Is Hard. And We

Comedy Exists To Laugh At Things That Aren't Laughable. But Isn't It? That's What Separates Us From The Animals. We Laugh.

The Only Street I Like Is Rue Honore De Balzac, Because 'balzac' Sound So Gay, And I Love My Gays. I Might Like Parisians More If They Named Their Streets Only For Gay Icons, Like Rue Liza Minnelli Or Rue Bette Midler Or, My Favorite, Rue Mcclanahan.

Why Should I Cook For My Husband? So He Can Tell A Hooker I Make A Delicious Cake?

I Always Like A Charity With People Who Don't Speak English Because I Get Them To Do All Kinds Of Things Around My House.

If I Found Yoko Ono Floating In My Pool, I'd Punish My Dog.