Leno, Conan. They Are Both

In Pakistan Anti-american Protesters Set A Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurant On Fire. The Protesters Mistakenly Thought They Were Attacking High-ranking U.s. Military Official Colonel Sanders.

I Saw That On Small Business Saturday, The President Went Shopping At A Bookstore And Bought 17 Books, Including "the Laughing Monsters," "being Mortal," And "heart Of Darkness." Or As The Cashier Put It, "you Ok, Man? Maybe A Little 'chicken Soup For The Presidential Soul?'

In A New Campaign Ad, Jeb Bush Referenced 'the Godfather' And Said His Nickname Used To Be 'veto Corleone' Because He Vetoed So Many Bills In Florida. When You're The Third Person In Your Family To Run For President, Maybe You Shouldn't Bring Up A Movie Trilogy Where The Third One Was Clearly The Worst.

Politicians Are Really Getting Desperate. In Fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Sent Out A Final Fundraising Email To Democrats With The Subject Line, 'i'm Begging.' Because What Better Way To Show You're A Strong Leader Than Acting Like You're Drunk And Dialing Your Ex?

Marco Rubio's Presidential Campaign Has Raised $40 Million In The Last Week. When He Heard That, Rubio Said, 'hey, Any Chance I Can Drop Out Of The Race And Just Keep The 40 Million?'