Last Year My Wife Ran

I Used To Sell Furniture For A Living. The Trouble Was, It Was My Own.

The Mother-in-law Is The Centre Of A Family.

Mind You, I've Always Been Musical... Mother Used To Sit Me On Her Knee And I'd Whisper, 'mummy, Mummy, Sing Me A Lullaby Do,' And She'd Say: 'certainly My Angel, My Wee Bundle Of Happiness, Hold My Beer While I Fetch Me Banjo.'

I Went To My Doctor And Asked For Something For Persistent Wind. He Gave Me A Kite.

I Don't Mind What The Critics Say, So Long As I Get Some Reaction. The Worst Thing Is To Be Ignored.