Kittens Play With Yarn, They

I Was At This Casino Minding My Own Business, And This Guy Came Up To Me And Said, 'you're Gonna Have To Move, You're Blocking A Fire Exit.' As Though If There Was A Fire, I Wasn't Gonna Run. If You're Flammible And Have Legs, You Are Never Blocking A Fire Exit.

If Spiderman Was Real, And I Was A Criminal, And He Shot Me With His Web, I Would Say, "dude, Thanks For The Hammock."

I Have An Oscillating Fan At My House. It Goes Back And Forth. It Looks Like The Fan Is Saying "no." So I Like To Ask It Questions That A Fan Would Say "no" To! Do You Keep My Hair In Place? Do You Keep My Documents In Order? Do You Have 3 Settings? Liar! My Fan Lied To Me. Now I Will Pull The Pin Up. Now You're Not Saying Anything!

I Played In A Death-metal Band. People Either Loved Us Or Hated Us. Or They Thought We Were Ok.

If You Are Flammable And Have Legs, You Are Not Blocking A Fire Exit.