Kissing Is Like Drinking Tea

Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As It's Known At My House, Passover.

I Have A Wonderful Make-up Crew. They're The Same People Restoring The Statue Of Liberty.

There Was Nothing Subtle About Our Landing. The Pilot Just Pointed The Nose At The Ground And Let Her Rip.

I Can't Understand What's Holding Up Our Missile Program. It's The First Time The Government Ever Had Trouble Making The Taxpayers' Money Go Up In Smoke.

Vice President Spiro Agnew Can Not Cheat On His Score : Because All You Have To Do Is Look Back Down The Fairway And Count The Wounded.